THE DEVIL IN NOTHING

Wisdom through the ages explicate that sighting her first thing in the morning is the key to resisting the temptation of the red lipped, smokey eyed Prada seductress. We pay for that bit of wisdom now, because it reached the ears of the devil. You see, in times past the devil wore Prada or some other outrageously expensive to-die-for enticing rave lushness. Not so much in modern times. Nah, not so much at all. That bastard, the devil, is an artficer.

It must have been at one of those ego bruising sessions, when an angel was enjoying a demon’s crestfallen face at the lack of souls destined for hell. They would have conversed…

Angel: “Hey Demon, all you get are two souls. You guys are having some cold time in hell. No love from the humans, aye? Hahahahaha”

Demon: “Shut up! I could get a demoness in Prada to seduce the white off your wings and you would be here before you know it; getting warmed up real good” *evil grin*

Angel: *laughs till he’s holding his stomach* “So you imagine humans haven’t been telling us how they overcome your bedevilling schemes?” *shakes head, hisses* “I would simply summon her at souls’ dawn” *pauses, locks eyes with the demon* “And my rod rise would be at rod set before she can think to say ‘happy dawn’”.

Demon: *thinking* Ooh! So that’s how they’ve been resisting temptations, eh? Lemme go tell master Lucifer… it’s time to change the script. *then, aloud to the angel* “You should enjoy this while it lasts. Shii is about to flip on you”

We can imagine the devil had a conversation with God after that information got to him. You know, the kind of conversation which got Job- that very righteous and bloody rich man with a book in the Bible- penniless, homeless, and with sores. Because here we are, with ‘misfortunes’ of our own.

What happened, you see, is that these days the devil is unglossed pink lips, seductive shades of baritone, fuck me eyes and toned muscles. Tell me, how is one to resist the devil that oozes unartificed you-can-do-nasty-things-with-me sex appeal? Especially one in whom all of these get higher on the arous-o-meter especially when he just got out of bed? *eyes get dreamy, saliva drops, and somewhere south gets wet*

Aah… It’s official! Heaven is wet dreams, saucer-wide eyes, biting lips, horngry groans and satisfied moans; and hell is, well, getting populated. *sad face*

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