The New App

Elan Mudrow


Would you look where you’re going?

Dig that head out of your device.

Take a sure step ahead

Or a car will end your streak

Of cute emojis  

Just wait a minute

Put the Me Phone in your pocket

And stop acting like an Android

You don’t need to find out

If Suzy wants to go out on a date

Within seconds of you asking her

You don’t need to ask your wife

If she wants one ply or two ply

Her ass if fine

No, you didn’t find something collectable.

Get off of E-bay!

If you knew anything about collectables

You wouldn’t need the phone!

We don’t need another photo

Of the Taj Mahal on Instagram

No, the filters won’t help

It’s not shaded sizzling blue or

Hot-to-trot California fuchsia  

And we don’t need to see your smiling

Fat head in front of it, either

Instead of…

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