Image

Of Souls and Shadows

I’m sitting here

In the middle of this debris

Of blood and jagged muscles

Pulsing the beat of the drunk man’s trudge

The demons race

Debating pain and hurt

Whispering dreams and hopes

Madness tethers on this unspeaking frenzy

 

Your eyes tell that story

Of empty bottles and drowned soul

Mine speak primitive tongues

Of broken groans and rising throes

Don’t say tomorrow

That pregnant dream reminiscent of nightmares

No. Don’t shed light

It casts shadows too

 

Image

Love you. But…

I love you

Really love you. But

I’m done

I can’t do this. Anymore

You don’t hear them

The words

You don’t see them

The tears clogging my throat

I love you

Really love you. But

I’m done

I can’t do this. Anymore

I repeat the words

I need you to hear

The hurt is deep

A knife twisting in my heart

I love you

Really love you. But

I’m done

I can’t do this. Anymore

My eyes lock on yours

Pleading you see the tears

“I will hurt you”. Words. Yours

“You already have”. Words. Mine

I love you

Really love you. But

I’m done

I can’t do this. Anymore

These words

Screams in my head

Not granted passage

Past my unmoving lips

I. Love. You

Really. Love. You. But

I’m. Done

I. Can’t. Do. This. Anymore

You never hear them

The words

You never see them

The tears clogging my throat

 

Image

Olu’Drae

March 24, 2016

00:12hrs

*grinning like a loon*

Yaay! Baby’s birthday!! Baby’s birthday!!!

It’s that crazy little voice in my head doing the dance around; in the guise of reminding me again. Like I have any chance of forgetting; it’s been reminding me everyday for the past 24 days! I had woken on March 1 to a whisper:

baby’s day in 23 days.

I had smiled at the thought, and that must have been my mistake. Because the voice was there the next day, and every day after. Each day the number was a day less, my own mental count down. How then does it -the voice- imagine I could have forgotten? But now it has me infected with what I’ve named Baby’s Day Fever; symptoms of which include warm temperature, loony grins, and hyperactivity.

Baby Baby Baby

The little voice is chanting incantation, command to which my fingers are flying across my phone, calling Baby. It’s over ten minutes of singing the old happy birthday song and lots of teases, but I eventually get off the phone. Sometime during the call I started dancing to music playing in the background, so now there’s excited endorphins in my system. Something’s singing rather loudly, and it’s not me because it isn’t singing off key. I shut my vibrating vocal chords to locate the ‘musician’, then gasp. Darn supposed “little” voice in my head is going all Beatles on me! 

March 27, 2016

16:00hrs

*fuming in the rage born of dashed dreams*

What the… how the… but…

All the goodies in my provisions wardrobe are missing. They have erased, poofed, simply disappeared like they were never there. Not even crumbs,wraps, or disarrangement of my non-edibles to tell me I’m not insane. You know, to assure me that they were ever there in the first place. But, you see, it’s Baby’s doing. So I’m screaming his name, and chasing him round the house when I hear his footsteps thump fast somewhere outside my room. He must have been standing outside my room, waiting to see my reaction to my now-empty wardrobe. He’s so in for it! How can I come home after a hectic journey and -because he has gotten home before me- meet none of my goodies?

My goodies o! My personal goodies stored in the private wardrobe in my very own personal room!! What impudence!!!

Little voice is chanting as we chase Baby; enraged. The words fuel my legs to run faster, till the incredulity of it dawns on me when I notice he is laughing. We are two full grown siblings: he running from me, I chasing him, and our dog, tail wagging, woofing and weaving in and out beside us, and between our legs. One of us would soon fall. And we would become a ball of flying limbs, tussles, and rambunctious laughter; punctuated with whizzes and yelps. We always do.

P.S:

In case you were wondering how I know what happens 3 days away, well, I know because I know Baby. By the way, we both know you now have proof of what I always say. Baby drives me crazy. He always has. All indications suggest he always will.

N.B:

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you Olu’Draaaaeeee, happy birthday to you!

Dedication:

Heys You Baby! May you live fulfilled always and everyday, your eyes always twinkle, your smile always reach you eyes, and your heart always give, and receive. Happy Birthday Baby Brother! *xoxo*

Image

Last Drops

Raining showers

Then Silence

Plit. Plat. Plit

Last spawn drops

 

They fall off the clouds

Contemplative. Wondering

Where the ones before

Have gone

P.S: Please forgive my recent irregular posts; power unavailability has taken a turn for the worse here. I’m finding ways around it, but till I get back to regular posting please bear with me. Thank you!

Image

Last Night

I was restless last night

My silken sheets troubled

By tangling legs and

Fisting flailing hands

 

I was restless last night

Gasps and moans slipped

Past mind-numbed lips

Tears past shut eyes

 

I was restless last night

Sweat beads popped, strolled

Traced my arched spinal cord

Despite freezing harmattan

 

I was restless last night

Fighting nightmares

Memories of days

Wasted loving you

Image

Waking

I woke today

When dawn chased ghosts

Of dusk

To entwining arms

And a beating heart

I ate this morn

A meal of body and cream balanced 

On jerking skin

Grateful moans of ecstasy

As tongue licked lips clean

I recalled this a.m

Impotent ghosts of dusk

Seeking admission to dawn

Limp slivers of memory

Eclipsed by thrusting orgasms

 

Image

In Remembrance

For the Nigerian Armed Forces


 

The petrifying smell

Of sweat and gun powder

Of earth suckling blood

Of muddied camouflages

 

The haunting memories

Of laughing eyes

Of hopeful camaraderie

Of slaughter that ended it

 We would never know

The fears you squelch

The demons you own

The mares in your nights

 

Today we honour

Your pride of bravery

Your code of honour

Your blood keeping us safe

IMG_20151112_063013In the struggles of daily living we forget to mention it. And sometimes we meet people who slur the sacrifices you all make. But we remember today, the Nigerian Armed Forces Remembrance Day, and we mention it. Thank you, thank you, thank you so very much for giving your lives so that we, blissfully ignorant civilians, may fulfill our dreams sans fears.

Dear Member of the Nigerian Armed Forces, be you dead or alive, you are most honored and appreciated. #Salute.